The good news is, you're not the only one freaking out about it. On Friday, people on the Ask Reddit forum shared the very worst thing you can say to someone once the pants come off.
NOTE: It should go without saying, but please do not say any of these things to a person you're about to have sex with. Please, we're begging you.
1. "Turn the lights off."
2. "Aww, look at it...it's so cuuuute."
3. "Good thing I won't remember this in the morning."
4. "Well, bless your heart..."
5. "...Oh."
6. "You know, this reminds me of that 'Seinfeld' episode, with George and the pool."
7. "You need to get that checked out."
8. "Hold on, I'm texting."
9. "Oh boy, my breast friends!"
10. "I like to have sex with the lights off."
11. "OK... so... let's put our clothes back on... (and not proceed with the intended)."
12. "I have to go return some video tapes."
13. "I pictured it better in my mind."
14. "My condolences."
15. "...Is it supposed to look like that?"
16. "Well, just look at that little guy."
17. "I need to go now."
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