Wednesday, 19 September 2018

Virginia Man Accused Of Rubbing Produce On Buttocks And Putting It Back On Shelves

It really puts the “gross” in grocery.

A Virginia man is facing charges after he allegedly grabbed produce at a Manassas store, pulled down his pants and rubbed the food items on his bare buttocks.

The suspect then allegedly put the tainted produce back on the shelves, according to The Associated Press.

Michael Dwayne Johnson, 27, was arrested Saturday afternoon at the Giant Food Store after an employee called 911 about destruction of property.

The employee told officers Johnson was allegedly seen “picking up produce, pulling down his pants, rubbing the produce on his buttocks, and replacing the produce back on the shelf,” according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Johnson was arrested inside the supermarket and charged with two misdemeanors: indecent exposure and destruction of property.

According to the police report, store employees had to destroy several pallets of produce presumedly tainted by Johnson’s bare heinie.

Authorities say they haven’t determined a possible motive.

Although a police spokesperson told NBC Washington she did not know what type of produce Johnson allegedly defiled, a police report mentioned it was fruit.

Johnson was later released on his own recognizance.

Giant Food Stores was unable to be reached for comment.

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Spooky Nighttime Children's Voices Turned Out To Be Something Even Creepier Than Ghosts

Residents of a town in England have been haunted by the eerie sounds of a child singing an old nursery rhyme. And it was freaking people out. 

“It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring,” the young voice echoed in the night. “He went to bed and bumped his head, couldn’t get up in the morning.” 

“The first time I heard it it was the most terrifying thing ever, I went cold and felt sick, and thought ‘what on earth was that?’” one resident, who did not want to be named, told the BBC. 

“It’s very haunting, people have said it’s like something out of Freddy Krueger,” Alice Randle, who was among those who heard the voice, told the Independent.

It wasn’t a ghost or the “Nightmare on Elm Street” villain. But for some people, the culprit might be even creepier: Spiders. 

The voice was part of a motion-activated security system at a nearby warehouse. Spiders took over some of the lenses and when one of them crawled across, the system triggered and the recording played ― sometimes in the middle of the night, the Independent reported. 

“It sounded very eerie at that time of night,” a spokesperson for the Ipswich Borough Council told the newspaper. 

But the message wasn’t aimed at local residents. 

“The sound is only supposed to act as a deterrent for opportunistic thieves that come onto our property, and it’s designed only to be heard by people on our private land,” a spokesman for the company that owns the warehouse told the Ipswich Star.

For now, the company is clearing away the cobwebs and turning down the volume. 

(h/t Boing Boing)

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Cat Doesn't Get The Cream, But Does Get A Bag Full Of Narcotics

It was one crafty cat.

Police in Bristol, southwest England, said a feline’s owners found it “curled up” in its bed next to a plastic bag containing packets of suspected heroin and cocaine, reports the BBC.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” tweeted the Avon and Somerset Police Department’s Ashley neighborhood team on Monday.

“Great result in St. Pauls when a resident’s cat brought this in during the night,” it added. “The owner got a bit of a shock but called us straight away!”

The police service’s main Twitter account lightheartedly suggested it should “forget police dogs” and start “training up cats.”

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You Don't Want To Know The Trump-Themed Reason Why 'Mario Kart' Is Trending

The term “Mario Kart” was trending on Twitter Tuesday, but not because a new version of Nintendo’s iconic go-kart video game was about to drop.  

Instead, it bubbled up after former porn star Stormy Daniels reportedly likened President Donald Trump’s penis to “the mushroom character in Mario Kart” in her upcoming tell-all book, Full Disclosure.

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart,” British newspaper The Guardian reports Daniels as writing.

Trump denies Daniels’ claim that they had an affair in 2006, but Daniels (whose real name is Stephanie Clifford) received $130,000 before the 2016 presidential election in hush money.

Here’s how some people on Twitter reacted after finding out exactly why “Mario Kart” was taking over their feeds:

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Wisconsin Humane Society Rescues 5 Squirrels With 'Hopelessly Entangled' Tails

What a tale these five squirrels can tell. Or should we say “tails”?

The five juvenile gray squirrels are siblings whose tails somehow became entangled last week, thanks to the long-stemmed grasses and strips of plastic their mother used as nest material, according to KMSP TV.

Luckily, a good samaritan discovered the knot of squirrels and took them to the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center at the Wisconsin Humane Society in Milwaukee.

A Facebook post from the rehab center described the “frightened, distressed ball of squirrelly energy” as “very wiggly and unruly (and nippy!)” 

Because the animals need their tails for balance and warmth, they had to be untangled carefully. After rescue workers anesthetized all five squirrels, the center said they began “unraveling the ‘Gordian Knot’” of tails and nest material.

There were some challenges: Rescuers couldn’t immediately tell whose tail was whose, and impaired blood flow was causing tissue damage to the tails. 

But after 20 minutes of snipping away, the squirrels were finally separated from each other.

As you can see from the photo above, some squirrels emerged more “bushy-tailed” than others. The center is monitoring all of them for a few days for any lasting damage to their tails from the too-close encounter.

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This Snake Just Puked Up A Nightmare

A snake in India gave bystanders a surprise when it regurgitated its last meal. 

The snake had swallowed another snake and then proceeded to force the entire meal back out.  

The unidentified person who filmed the encounter told Newsflare he found the snake outside his home in Kannur, Kerala, over the weekend and thought it was dead. He poked it to be sure, and that’s when the snake revealed it was still alive. 

The reptile was likely just digesting, which can take a snake several days. During that time, they often don’t move much. However, a little stress, such as an encounter with a predator ― or maybe a human with a stick and a camera ― can trigger a reflexive puke session.

“If the animal gets stressed or startled, such as by a potential predator, a full stomach makes fight or flight difficult,” Reptiles Magazine noted. “It then regurgitates its food item, thus evacuating its stomach, which makes activity much easier.”

Lesson: Don’t poke snakes.

(h/t Digg)

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Sunday, 16 September 2018

The Hurricane Shark Hoax Is Back Again For Florence -- Don't Get Hooked

During every hurricane, Scottish journalist Jason Michael McCann enjoys trolling the internet with a particular photo. It always purports to show a shark swimming down the street or highway. The idea is that floodwaters have risen so high in the midst of a big storm that sharks are now making their way onto land.

Well, it’s completely fake.

And McCann will be the first to tell you that.

“Of course I knew it was fake,” McCann told BuzzFeed last year after tweeting the image out during Hurricane Harvey. “It was part of the reason I shared the bloomin’ thing.” 

Though it began as a joke for his Twitter followers, part of McCann’s motivation for his subsequent tweets of the image is specifically because it’s fake. McCann says he got into journalism because he didn’t trust the news he was getting.

“We are responsible for how we receive the information we’re getting,” McCann said. “If people choose to be fooled by a shark swimming by a car, I don’t think it says a great deal about me.”


According to Snopes, the fake image dates back to August of 2011 when Hurricane Irene hit Puerto Rico. Snopes debunked the cleverly composited “hurricane shark” photo soon after.

There’s plenty to worry about during a hurricane, but sharks swimming on the highway are not one of them.

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Weatherman Braces For Hurricane Florence While 2 Guys Walk By As If Nothing's Wrong

With Hurricane Florence pummeling the Eastern Seaboard, reporters are shooting outdoors in storm-drenched areas to show viewers at home just how serious the storm is.

As a result, Weather Channel reporter Mike Seidel is making a big splash ― but probably not in the way he’d like.

A video of a live segment of him in Wilmington, North Carolina, shows him bracing his feet on where he’s standing, presumably so he won’t be blown over during his segment.

There was just one problem: While Seidel looked as if he needed to guard against the wind and the rain, two people walked behind him as though nothing was wrong and ruined the appearance of dire conditions. 

Many Twitter users suspected the shot was just a teensy bit fabricated.

The video reminded people of other times weather people tried to cloud the truth with dramatic license.

Some wondered where the weatherman got his training.

HuffPost reached out to the Weather Channel, which supplied this statement:

“It’s important to note that the two individuals in the background are walking on concrete, and Mike Seidel is trying to maintain his footing on wet grass, after reporting on-air until 1:00 a.m. ET this morning and is undoubtedly exhausted.”

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'Cats And Dogs Will Never Know How Much They Are Worshipped On The Internet'

The shower isn’t just a place to sing. Separated from our cellphones, standing under running water often allows people’s minds to run free.

Reddit has an entire “Shower Thoughts” subreddit dedicated to “the miniature epiphanies you have that highlight the oddities within the familiar.” In honor of those weird, wonderful and sometimes profound musings, here are some of the best posts from the last week:

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Some Missouri Residents Think Calling A Newspaper The Uranus Examiner Is Asinine

URANUS, Mo. (AP) — Cue the giggling: A small Missouri town has a new newspaper called The Uranus Examiner.

KYTV reports that the newspaper’s launch was announced Wednesday, just days after GateHouse Media said it was shuttering Pulaski County’s local paper, the Daily Guide.

The new publication’s editor, Natalie Sanders, led the Daily Guide before leaving in June to start what she calls a “fun” paper that will include local news and promote the tourist town of Uranus, which is pronounced the way any self-respecting class clown would say it.

Uranus sits along historic Route 66 and is known for quirky attractions, including a fudge shop and the world’s largest belt buckle.

Luge Hardman, the mayor of nearby Waynesville, where the Daily Guide was based, says she thinks the “innuendo” surrounding the new publication’s name will bring “public ridicule.”


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LA Football Coach Canned After Players Spike Water With Sex Enhancement Drug

A high school football coach in Los Angeles has been canned for not telling parents that two students allegedly spiked the water at a team practice with a male enhancement drug.

Luis Barajas was fired Aug. 7 as coach of the Bernstein High School varsity football team in Hollywood after he was investigated for an alleged July 12 incident where two students put the drug in the junior varsity team’s water, The Los Angeles Times reported.

An investigation by the Los Angeles Unified School District discovered that the coach didn’t bother to notify school officials or parents that players had possibly ingested contaminated water until two weeks later, according to the Times.

“No parent complaints were received at Bernstein, school police [were] not involved, no testing of the alleged contaminated water took place and there [were] no student illness reports,” the district’s general counsel’s office said in a statement.

A district spokeswoman said investigators “did not find evidence that any student actually drank the contaminated water.” In addition, she told the Times, the water was never tested because it had been discarded by the time the allegation was reported.

So far, it looks like there was no enhancement to the team’s on-the-field performance. The season record is currently 1-3, according to USA Today.

Officials also said Barajas committed numerous other violations, including failure to secure a practice permit, insufficiently vetting an assistant coach and allowing players to practice before they received academic eligibility, according to CBS Sports.

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Pot Shop Employee Fights Off Attackers With Trusty Glass Bong

A Canadian pot shop employee may have just experienced the ultimate bong hit.

He used the marijuana smoking apparatus to fight off three robbers who were brandishing canisters of bear spray, Mashable reported.

And, yes, it was all caught on video (thank you for asking).

The attempted robbery occurred last Thursday afternoon at the Recreational Cannabis Farmers Market in Shannonville, Ontario, when three men entered the store with their faces covered.

The robbers sprayed bear mace on two store employees, a man and a woman, but the male clerk didn’t let that stop him from protecting the merchandise.

Surveillance video shows the clerk grabbing a bong and using it as a weapon.

It seems like something out of a Cheech & Chong movie, but it worked, according to this Facebook post from the Tyendinaga Police Service:

The robbers left the store without any merchandise and fled in a white SUV.

Officials are still looking for the would-be thieves. Anybody with information is asked to contact the Tyendinaga Police Service at (613) 967-3888.

The complete video can be seen below:

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Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Rest In Peace To The Former Dog Mayor Of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky

A border collie who served as the mayor of a small Kentucky community for eight years died Monday at the age of 12.

Lucy Lou was elected mayor Rabbit Hash, Kentucky ― an unincorporated community with a history of electing dogs as mayors ― in 2008, according to The Cincinnati Enquirer. As the first female dog to hold the tradition, Lucy appropriately campaigned with the slogan “The Bitch You Can Count On.”

The fluffy dog stepped down as mayor in 2016, and pit bull Brynneth Pawltro was subsequently elected to the position. The Rabbit Hash Historical Society periodically holds mayoral elections to fundraise for various community projects. Votes cost $1 each, and everyone can vote as many times as they want. In 2008, Lucy Lou beat out “10 other dogs, a cat, an opossum and a jack ass” for the coveted position, according to the historical society.

Her political sights didn’t end with mayorship, however. She made a bid for president ahead of the 2016 election, with her campaign manager and owner Bobbi Kayser telling HuffPost, “All the other presidential candidates are dogs. Why shouldn’t a real one run?”

Kayser posted a moving tribute to Lucy Lou to Facebook on Monday.

“She was an astounding canine who brought joy to many more people than just her immediate family,” Kayser wrote. “I’m so proud to have known her and shared these short years on earth with her. Run free and easy, sweet girl. Momma loves you.”

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Homecoming Queen Makes Game-Winning Kick On Football Field

For Kaylee Foster, there was no question that she would attend the homecoming dance with the star of the football team. That’s because she was the player who kicked two field goals and the game-winning point after a touchdown.

The senior at Ocean Springs High School in Ocean Springs, Mississippi, was also crowned homecoming queen just before the big game.

“I really don’t have any words,” Foster told the Mississippi Press after the game. “This has just been so wonderful. I love football and I love Ocean Springs.”

According to the Mississippi Press, Foster has been a placekicker since middle school and she’s continued to play the sport in high school.

When asked whether she was more nervous before the homecoming queen announcement or before she made the kick, Foster said: “I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be homecoming queen, but I was pretty sure I was going to make that kick.”

Head football coach Ryan Ross said he was proud of his team and especially proud of Foster.

“I’d like to check the whole country and see if it’s ever happened before,” Ross said. “It certainly makes for a memorable weekend for the whole team, but especially Kaylee.”

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'Guinness World Records 2019' Features Some Truly Weird Feats

Guinness World Records has just released its 2019 edition, and, of course, the record holders are getting lots of media attention.

This year, no one may get as much ink as Rolf Bucholz of Dortmund, Germany, but he had a head start, since most of his body is covered with tattoos.

Bucholz was selected as the World’s Most Pierced Male in 2010, but the new Guinness book says he’s now also the man with the Most Body Modifications ― a whopping 516.

Bucholz’s feat is extreme, but he’s joined in the new book by a host of other weird world records:

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'If We Think In Our Native Language, Then Most Dogs Would Be Thinking In Barks'

The shower isn’t just a place to sing. Separated from our cellphones, standing under running water often allows people’s minds to run free.

Reddit has an entire “Shower Thoughts” subreddit dedicated to “the miniature epiphanies you have that highlight the oddities within the familiar.” In honor of those weird, wonderful and sometimes profound musings, here are some of the best posts from the last week:

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A Bug's Heist: Thousands Of Insects, Spiders Stolen From Philadelphia Museum

Arachnophobes look away (and maybe start tucking your pants into your socks).

Philadelphians are on the lookout for 7,000 creatures ― including a highly venomous spider ― that were stolen from the city’s Insectarium and Butterfly Pavilion last month.

Thieves made off with up to 90 percent of the museum’s collection, including a 6-eyed sand spider whose bite “could rot 25 percent of their [victim’s] body.”

Speaking to CNN, Insectarium CEO John Cambridge said that he wasn’t “sure there’s ever been a larger live-insect heist.” The estimated value of the missing creatures is thought to be anywhere between $40,000 and $50,000.

Authorities believe the thieves previously worked at the museum and were “dismissed for extremely good reasons.”

“We know exactly who did this. They snuck out the back with all these boxes. We caught them on camera,” Cambridge said. “They took all the stuff and then they didn’t show up for their shifts.”

Several of the thieves even left a bizarre calling card by sticking their uniforms to the wall with steak knives, CNN reported. 

Since the “buglary,” the museum has established a GoFundMe page to replace the missing creatures so that it can continue “to educate and engage people with the wonderful world of insects.”

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There's A Charity Store With Photos Of Jeff Goldblum In All Its Picture Frames

In what can only be described as a blessing from above, a charity store has been discovered that has filled all its picture frames with Jeff Goldblum.

Not since a 25-foot-tall half-naked statue of the “Jurassic Park” actor appeared in London has the world been given such a beautiful gift. 

Twitter user Simon Reah posted pictures of the discovery on Sunday, brightening the day of users worldwide. 

If you’ll excuse us, we have to go now and find where this store is. 

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Monday, 3 September 2018

Let These Dinosaurs Check You In At Japan's 'Weird' Hotel

“Jurassic Park” fans, this one’s for you.

A Japanese hotel is offering guests one of the strangest check-in experiences possible ― a reception desk manned by robot dinosaurs. 

Whether it’s Japanese, English, Chinese or Korean, the pair of dinosaurs are more than happy to assist customers arriving at the hotel in east Tokyo through the use of a tablet system.  

The hotel belongs to the Henn na (whose name means “weird”) chain, which claims to offer the world’s first hotels staffed by robots. 

As reported by AFP, the robots detect guests’ motion on approach and bellow out “Welcome” and gesture with their long arms. However, the icing on the cake are the tiny bellboy hats perched atop their heads. 

Yet despite the novelty of the situation, the hotel’s manager, Yukio Nagai, has said that some customers find the dinosaurs slightly unnerving. 

“We haven’t quite figured out when exactly the guests want to be served by people, and when it’s okay to be served by robots,” he told AFP.

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Manhattan Cathedral Welcomes New 'Lambscapers'

Ewe better believe it. 

Manhattan’s Basilica of Old St. Patrick’s Cathedral has welcomed three new “lambscapers” that will spend the next six weeks tending to the churchyard’s grounds and bringing a rustic scene to the hustle and bustle of city living.

The newest members of the flock ― named Houston, Prince and Spring, ― according to the New York Post – are the fifth group of sheep to be brought to the church and will spend their visit grazing on the historic grounds.

It’s a tradition at the church since 2014. Monsignor Donald Sakano has said previously that the idea started with a conversation he had with a groundskeeper who was planning to retire.

“I joked, ‘What do you expect me to do now, get sheep?’” he said. “The second I said it I thought, ‘That might be a good idea,’ even though I knew nothing about sheep-keeping here in New York City.”

The church raised $5,561 to host the sheep this year, describing the initiative on a spotfund page as a way of providing a “sustainable method of “mowing” the grass ... eliminating the need for loud, gasoline-powered mowers.”

The Cormo sheep, an Australian breed, ordinarily take up residence at Buckwheat Bridge Farm in Elizaville, New York, but will be made to feel right at home while staying at the church, with a staff of five or six ensuring they’re always feeling ‘lambtastic’. 

“They’re the stars,” parishioner Andrew Shermin told the New York Post. “It’s a really fun thing for the neighborhood. There’s nothing else like it in the city.”

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Store Caught Sticking Googly Eyes On Fish To Make Them Look Fresh

There’s something fishy going on here. 

A store in Kuwait has reportedly been shut down after it was discovered that its owners were sticking googly eyes on fish in an attempt to make them appear fresher. 

Images of one of the fish, which were uploaded to Twitter by Al Bayan newspaper on Saturday, left users in hilarious disbelief at the creativeness of the store’s owners.  

As one would expect, there were also plenty of on-point fish puns. 

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Saturday, 1 September 2018

Massive, Menacing Lizard Terrorizes South Florida Family

‘Terror in Davie’

That might sound like the title of a B movie, but it’s a real-life nightmare for a family of four in South Florida who are being harassed by what looks like a prehistoric reptile on amphetamines.

“Dude, he’s big ― real big,” Zach Lieberman, 33, told HuffPost of the massive creature that’s been slinking around his house. “He’s every bit of 6-feet and every part of 100- to 150-pounds. He’s a monster.”

Lieberman’s wife, Maria, also 33, spotted the behemoth outside their Davie home on Sunday.

“My wife was walking by our sliding glass door and let out a pretty loud scream,” he said. “I ran over and looked out the shades on the door and, lo and behold, Godzilla’s smaller cousin was right there. It was alarming to me and terrifying to my wife and kids.”

Davie isn’t Tokyo ― and the lizard in question isn’t related to Godzilla (that we know of), but to show they weren’t losing their minds, the Liebermans took several videos of the giant lizard. It’s since been identified as an Asian water monitor.

At one point, Lieberman said, he decided to lure the monitor away from his door. That’s the moment, he said, that he realized just how big of a problem the lizard could be.

“I was trying to lure it into my garage, so I could contain it, and it got a little aggressive,” he said. “He apparently got hip to my idea, turned on me and took off running. It was a full-on sprint. I’d thought this was a slow creature. Man, it’s not! That really frightened me because we have two small kids, 2 and 4 years old. They can’t go in the backyard now because this thing could dart out in an instant.”

The Liebermans contacted the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, which has been trying for the past several days to capture the slinky monitor. So far it has proved to be one slick lizard. It’s not falling for the dead rats they’re using as bait.

Mike Kimmel, owner of Martin County Trapping & Removals and Martin County Wildlife Rescue in Indiantown, got wind of the problem and traveled to Davie on Tuesday.

“Originally, they were going to euthanize the animal, so that’s why I got involved,” said Kimmel, who’s known as Trapper Mike and is typically out capturing large snakes. “I knew I could find a home for him, and I really wanted to preserve his life.”

According to Kimmel, the lizard is a water monitor whose native habitat is Southeast Asia.

“There’s been some discrepancy as to whether it’s a Nile or Asian,” Kimmel explained. “I think the media wants it to be a Nile because then it’s a little scarier, but it’s an Asian water monitor.”

However, the expert trapper warned that a water monitor, no matter the size, shouldn’t be taken for granted. They are, as Lieberman discovered, extremely fast, and their teeth are like serrated razor blades. Their bite can be vicious, but, because they eat dead flesh, the parasites that line their jaws can be even more deadly, causing dangerous infections. Add to that some very long and very sharp claws and there is potential for serious injury.

“Their teeth can rip you apart and do a hell of a lot of damage,” Kimmel said. “But, in general, most of them don’t want anything to do with us. If they are handled every day, they can basically be like a puppy dog. It’s mainly when they feel cornered that they can absolutely be dangerous.”

No one initially knew where the monitor came from. Although such lizards are sold at pet shops, it’s illegal to release any exotic pet in Florida, whether accidentally or intentionally. Officials said they had no record of anyone reporting a lost or stolen monitor.

But on Tuesday, a neighbor claimed it was his lost pet, according to Lieberman and Kimmel.

“I spoke with the supposed pet owner,” Kimmel said. “He told me its name is Bamboo and it escaped a few weeks ago. He said he kept it in his pool and that he has three others as well. He will most likely not be getting this one back. What he described ― how he was housing it and why he didn’t report it ― shows he’s not a responsible owner.”

As luck would have it, it rained in Davie on Tuesday. According to Kimmel, monitors prefer sunny weather, so the conditions weren’t ideal. “I didn’t see him. If I had, that thing would be caught right now.”

Lieberman said he and a group of friends came close to catching the monitor on Thursday, but then it ran into a nearby lake.

“People need to leave it to the professionals,” Kimmel said. “I’ll be back this weekend, and I will locate and remove him.”

And so it’s yet to be seen whether Bamboo will be rousted from this once peaceful residential area or if he’ll take a cue from his big cousin, Godzilla, and lumber off into a nearby waterway, biding his time until his next adventure.

Send David Lohr an email or follow him on Facebook and Twitter. 

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Rap In The Middle Of Pop Songs Is This Generation's Rock Guitar Solos

The shower isn’t just a place to sing. Separated from our cellphones, standing under running water often allows people’s minds to run free.

Reddit has an entire “Shower Thoughts” subreddit dedicated to “the miniature epiphanies you have that highlight the oddities within the familiar.” In honor of those weird, wonderful and sometimes profound musings, here are some of the best posts from the last week:

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