Sunday, 11 December 2016

Get That Jerk In Your Life A Real Lump Of Coal This Christmas

Did someone make your “naughty list” this year? Here's a possible Christmas gift for that jerk in your life: a lump of “real Kentucky coal.”

Sold on the Kentucky for Kentucky website for $7 (“$542 less than an iPhone 6,” the company boasts), the coal lump comes in a festive box and a cheery holiday greeting.

“Merry Christmas, butthole,” the note reads.

“The holidays are a time for fun, frivolity, love and gratitude. But let’s face it. Some people don’t deserve any of that stuff,” Kentucky for Kentucky wrote in a blog post. “You know the ones. They've made your whole year a little harder than it needed to be. They're the ones with the make-believe gluten allergy. The selfie addicts. The ones with the Make America Great Again hat.”

If you don't like the idea of sending real coal to your friend frenemy enemy, there are also some fake fossil fuel alternatives on the market. Amazon, for instance, has a listing for a Christmas Lump of Coal (with gift bag) that comes with two “realistic” coal lumps. Etsy also has a few “lump of coal” soap bars for sale.

Interestingly, the tradition of giving naughty kids lumps of coal predates the Santa Claus familiar to us. Mental Floss has an explainer on the history of this bizarre practice.

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