Sunday, 17 February 2019

Winky The Bichon Frise Loses At Westminster Agility But Wins The Internet

Rudy, the little bulldog that could, gained a legion of fans at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show as he attacked the course in the agility competition on Sunday.

But a fluffier, less determined dog named Winky also grabbed the spotlight with a decidedly different approach to the apparatus. The bichon frise’s complete lack of urgency may have lost the competition, but it won the hearts of the crowd and people who viewed the run ― er, stroll ― through the tunnels and over the obstacles.

When Winky reached the top of the A-frame, it seemed like the perfect time to stop and take a look around. And when crossing the dog walk, the bichon stopped again to acknowledge the cheers of the crowd.

Winky’s final time of 192 seconds, which included 92 faults, was nowhere near Rudy’s time of 51.63 or winner Verb’s time of 32.05.

But Winky’s fan club may rival Rudy’s. 

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Tuesday, 12 February 2019

'James And The Giant Peach' Stage Prop Looks A Lot Like A Giant Something Else

James and Giant... erm... 

A community theater production of Roald Dahl’s classic “James and the Giant Peach” is getting attention online for some unusual set design. 

The main prop on the stage at DreamWrights in York, Pennsylvania, of course, is the titular massive stone fruit. 

Except some people think it might work better on the stage of “The Vagina Monologues” instead of “James and the Giant Peach.” 

The image started going viral after George Takei shared it with his catchphrase:

The theater is taking the jokes in stride, tweeting back at the actor: 

“I didn’t see that before, but now that’s all I can see when I look at it,” Kate Harmon, marketing coordinator at DreamWrights, confessed to the York Daily Record. “We had to design a peach big enough for the cast to stand inside it, outside it, on top of it — it’s not exactly an easy feat.”

On social media, fans pointed out that this is part of the unique charm of community theater and a reason to support it.

The image also birthed more than a few jokes: 

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Massive And Terrifying ‘God Emperor Trump’ Presides Over Parade In Italy

A massive likeness of President Donald Trump mashed up with the “God-Emperor” character of the Warhammer 40K video games presided over a parade in Italy over the weekend.   

The float at the Viareggio Carnevale featured a giant Twitter sword and clawed hand, and was animated to turn and shift as it moved through the procession.

Fabrizio Galli, who created the float, said in an interview that the sword contains a phrase that can mean “here’s your fucking tariffs,” according to 

“It’s a joke, but in fact he’s trying to destroy nations with the economy instead of nuclear missiles,” he was quoted as saying. “This is one of the strongest actions, let’s say, that powerful people like Trump can use.”

Galli went into more depth on the festival’s website, which listed the float’s title as “The Master Drone” and referred to the president as “God Emperor Trump.”

He wrote: 

“Donald wants to go back to the moon, travel to Mars and create the first space army. Ultras Marines? Mega Marines? The time of intellectuals, philosophers and of old and worn culture is over. We have entered the era of fantasy, videogames and virtual life.”

“The Master-Drone flies over the Viareggio boardwalk as we prepare to pay the price,” he added. 

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Sunday, 10 February 2019

Grandma Fights Off Attackers In Clown Masks With Child’s Scooter

TEXAS CITY, Texas (AP) — Police say a Texas woman used her granddaughter’s scooter to defend herself against a pair of machete-wielding men wearing clown masks who attempted to rob the woman and her husband.

Police say Aretha Cardinal and her husband, Joseph Nelson, were in the driveway of their Texas City home last week when the masked men approached and placed a machete to Nelson’s throat.

Authorities say Nelson wrested away the machete from one man while Cardinal grabbed the child’s scooter from the driveway and used it to strike the other man. Nelson tells Houston television station KTRK the men tried to run away but the couple chased them, smashing their vehicle window with the scooter.

The two suspects have been jailed on aggravated robbery charges.

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Woman's Obituary Jokes About Finally Having 'Smoking Hot Body' Thanks To Cremation

Sybil Hicks’ death was announced by her children in the most amusing way.

They penned a first-person obituary for their beloved mother in which they pretended that she boasted about finally having “the smoking hot body I have always wanted … having been cremated.”

The tongue-in-cheek tribute for the late Baysville, Ontario, woman — who died at age 81 on Feb. 2 — appeared in The Hamilton Spectator newspaper this week.

“Mom was never boring,” Hicks’ daughter, Barb Drummond, told Yahoo Lifestyle, explaining the obituary. “Mom lived large. She would do anything for anyone. It was rare for Mom not to have a smile on her face. Mom was always ready for a laugh. “

The witty obit also said Hicks left behind “my loving husband, Ron Hicks, whom I often affectionately referred to as a ‘Horse’s Ass,’” stated which of her children “whom I tolerated over the years” was her favorite, and lamented not being around to see “my sweetest grandchildren” grow up “to be the incredible people they are meant to be.”

Read the full obituary on The Hamilton Spectator’s website here.

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Friday, 8 February 2019

This Is Hands-Down The Most Horrifying Pizza Video You'll Ever See

Everyone loves pizza... even maggots. And if you think you can polish off a pie pretty fast, check out how quickly these larvae devour their pizza.

The time-lapse video, posted by Science Magazine, compresses two hours of maggot munchies into mere seconds:

Maggots and people appear to have at least one thing in common when it comes to pizza: Not everyone loves the crust. 

Science Magazine said the experiment could “help grub farmers using human food waste to produce larvae-based chicken feed.”

(h/t Digg)

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Thursday, 7 February 2019

Man Breaks Lingerie Store Window To Attack Barack Obama Mannequin

A New York man is facing charges of criminal mischief for allegedly breaking the front window of a lingerie store last month to attack a Barack Obama mannequin.

Police arrested 41-year-old Rewell Altunaga on Jan. 26, after surveillance video allegedly showed him using a cinder block to smash the window of Romantic Depot, an adult store in Harlem.

Store manager Corine Lew told New York station WABC she didn’t know how to react at first. 

“All we heard was glass shattering, so we’re looking around, like, what is going on?” she said. “At first, we thought one of the mannequins fell through the window. ... All of us ran outside, and we didn’t see anyone until we went to the window and saw a cinder block. OK, so it wasn’t a mannequin, someone threw it. So we started looking around to see who could it be? And then we seen a man pacing.”

Turns out, the window that Altunaga allegedly broke showcased a display with an Obama mannequin dressed as a prince and President Donald Trump dressed as a princess wearing a “Make America great again” hat, according to the New York Daily News.

The surveillance video shows someone yanking the Obama mannequin out of the window and throwing it to the ground. The Trump statue was left unharmed.

Altunaga allegedly left the scene, followed by a store employee.

“One of the people on our security team, a smaller guy, was able to catch him and held him for the police,” Romantic Depot owner Glenn Buzzetti told the Daily News.

Buzzetti said store employees had to protect the suspect from a crowd of angry Obama fans.

“He was surrounded. We put our loss prevention people out and surrounded him,” he told the Daily News. “He could have been killed. We had women trying to kick him in the head. We had to protect him because he had damaged the Obama image.”

Buzzetti also said Altunaga was a Trump supporter who kept repeating after he was caught “that he hated Obama and Obama ruined the country.”

Lew told WABC she believes Altunaga is mentally ill, and she told WPIX that he said the Obama mannequin “was talking to him, and he didn’t like what Obama was saying.”

The New York Police Department’s press office told HuffPost that the suspect “did intentionally damage store window causing less than $250” in damage, though Buzzetti told the Daily News the damage was closer to $1,000.

Altunaga was given a desk appearance ticket for March 27, according to the NYPD press office.

You can see the surveillance video below:

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'Photoshop Battle' Breaks Out Over Nancy Pelosi's SOTU Clap-Back At Donald Trump

First came the meme. Now comes the “Photoshop Battle.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) gave wags on the internet the perfect viral moment when she clapped at President Donald Trump during his State of the Union address on Tuesday. 

A still picture of the clapping soon made it onto Reddit’s “photoshopbattles” thread, where some clever users manipulated the photo in creative ways: 

The comedy continued on Twitter, where people edited a cutout of Pelosi clapping (provided by writer Parker Molloy) to hilarious effect:

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Wednesday, 6 February 2019

Minnesota Man Keeps Freezing His Pants Off, Thanks To The Polar Vortex

Although the polar vortex put much of the country into a record-breaking deep freeze, it wasn’t all bad news. The plummeting temperatures allowed a Minnesota man and his neighbors to revive the mystifying and somewhat eerie phenomenon known as frozen pants.

Tom Grotting of Minneapolis began the frozen pants movement in 2013. A polar vortex brought sub-zero temperatures to his neighborhood and he froze then posed some jeans. The idea caught on and soon several neighbors followed his lead.

In subsequent years ― weather permitting ― the frozen pants returned, sparking news coverage across the country.

Last month, Grotting and his brother, John, visited Northfield, Minnesota, for the opening of St. Olaf College’s new hockey arena.

“It was cold as cold gets that morning and I thought it would be a good opportunity to freeze some pants, of course, so I brought a couple of pairs of big daddys in a bucket,” Grotting said in an email.

“We soaked ’em up and draped them over the signs out front and went to dinner,” he said. “When we came back, the pants were hard as a rock and the game was starting so we had to get busy. Brother John is a rookie pants freezer, and from San Diego to boot, but he jumped right in and pounded on them like he owned them to get the pants shaped up.” 

The effort inspired Grotting to challenge his neighbors in northeast Minneapolis to freeze their pants if the temperature dropped below minus 20 degrees. He posted a video on YouTube and Instagram, showing in detail how to freeze pants:

Enter the polar vortex.

“People were freezing them all over town,” Grotting said. “Not only taking pictures, but taking them for walks, throwing them in the air and recording the perfect landing!”

Photos and videos appeared on social media under the hashtag: #frozenpants.

Grotting even challenged himself by freezing an old tuxedo that belonged to his college roommate. What was he doing with his roommate’s tux? Don’t ask.

“It seemed like a good idea, but a tuxedo doesn’t hold water like a pair of jeans, that’s for sure,” Grotting said.

The fame that came with being the father of #frozenpants was fleeting, as was frozen pants season itself. 

“There are no clear avenues to monetizing #frozenpants, but it’s a good icebreaker,” Grotting said.

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Universal Orlando Now Has A Butt-Naked Troll That Farts Glitter At Guests

Universal Studios Orlando has a new character in one of its theme parks with a very particular set of skills. 

Guy Diamond, a troll from the “Trolls” animated movie, has a well-defined bare bottom that not only farts at guests, but fires off glitter when it does: 

Guy Diamond recently joined trolls Branch and Poppy, who have been doing meet-and-greets at the theme park for some time now, Attractions Magazine reported. 

Branch and Poppy, for the record, are fully clothed. 

Inside the Magic said the troll trio does a dance for the guests. Then, after cutting loose, Guy Diamond releases a sparkly shart, just as he does in the film. 

The theme park’s website showed the trolls meeting with guests six times a day at the KidZone in Universal Studios Florida. Naturally, fans on social media had some thoughts: 

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Monday, 4 February 2019

World War I Grenade Discovered Among Potatoes At Hong Kong Potato Chip Factory

Hong Kong police destroyed a German-made grenade from World War I on Saturday morning after the decades-old device made a surprise appearance in a shipment of imported potatoes at a local potato chip factory. 

The grenade, described by authorities as having been caked with mud and dirt, was discovered by workers at a factory run by Japanese snack maker Calbee, South China Morning Post reported. 

Police said they used a “high-pressure water firing technique” to safely detonate the weapon.

Superintendent Wilfred Wong Ho Hon said the “the grenade was imported from France together with the other potatoes,” CNN reported. 

Dave Macri, a military historian, told the Morning Post that the grenade had likely been dug up by accident by potato harvesters in France.

“If it was covered in mud, the grenade was likely to have been left behind, dropped by soldiers there during the war, or left there after it was thrown” by enemies, Macri said.

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Sunday, 3 February 2019

Groundhog Doesn't See His Shadow, Predicting Spring Will Come Early

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) — It may be hard to believe as a large swath of the U.S. thaws out from a bitter polar vortex, but spring is coming early, according to handlers for some of the country’s most famous prognosticating groundhogs.

Just before 7:30 a.m. Saturday, Punxsutawney (puhnk-suh-TAW’-nee) Phil emerged from his burrow in Pennsylvania at sunrise and didn’t see his shadow. Nearly the same series of events unfolded about 300 miles (483 kilometers) to the east, where Staten Island Chuck’s handlers also revealed the same prediction.

The festivities have their origin in a German legend that says if a furry rodent casts a shadow on Feb. 2, winter continues. If not, spring comes early.

In reality, Phil’s prediction is decided ahead of time by the group on Gobbler’s Knob, a tiny hill just outside Punxsutawney. That’s about 65 miles (105 kilometers) northeast of Pittsburgh.

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio stopped attending Staten Island’s Groundhog Day ceremony in 2015, a year after he accidentally dropped the furry critter that died a week later.

And he wasn’t the only New York City mayor who struggled with the holiday. Former Mayor Michael Bloomberg was bitten at a Groundhog Day ceremony in 2009.

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German Sausage Museum Reconsiders Move To Nazi Camp Site

BERLIN (AP) — A German sausage museum apparently won’t move to the site of a former Nazi camp for slave laborers after news of the plan triggered strong criticism.

The German Bratwurst Museum was slated to move to an area on the outskirts of the eastern town of Muehlhausen that was once a satellite site for the larger Buchenwald concentration camp. That drew criticism from Jewish leaders and others.

Uwe Keith, the head of the association that operates the museum, was quoted late Friday as telling Bild newspaper that “we definitely won’t build there.” He told news agency dpa the group had discovered the site’s history only Wednesday and will launch a “complete re-evaluation.” It had been offered the site by a private investor who bought it from the German government in 2008.

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Florida Girl Stole Papa John's Delivery Car To Visit Boyfriend: Police

A 14-year-old Florida girl is facing grand theft charges after she allegedly stole a pizza delivery driver’s car early Wednesday morning.

Police in Lee County said Josie Bigelow ordered two pizzas and had them sent to a neighbor’s house in Lehigh Heights.

When the driver went to the door to deliver the pizzas, Bigelow allegedly popped out of some nearby bushes and stole his unlocked 2006 Ford Taurus, according to The Smoking Gun.

The driver, 49-year-old Christopher Cook, told deputies he was walking to the front door when he saw a person come out from the woods, get into his car and drive away along a canal, according to Fort Myers station WBBH.

Police said Bigelow first drove to Lehigh Acres Middle School, but when a policeman approached the car, she drove off quickly. Her wild ride was tracked by a police helicopter, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

She was eventually apprehended about six miles away from her house.

Bigelow was charged with grand theft of an automobile and taken to a Juvenile Assessment center. She was later released.

Bigelow’s father, Joseph Bigelow, told WBBH that his daughter’s plan was to meet her boyfriend.

“I sent the cop text messages of her and her boyfriend talking about robbing people and all that,” he said, adding this daughter “needs a (rear end) whipping ... That, and jail.” 

Meanwhile, Cook gave the pizzas that were ordered under false pretenses to the responding officers.

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This Kid's About To Get An Explosive Lesson In Using Fireworks Over A Manhole

A boy in China was lucky to escape with his life after playing with fireworks and triggering an explosion that ripped the sidewalk apart. 

Footage from the scene in Chifeng City in Inner Mongolia showed the boy either dropping one of the fireworks into a manhole or allowing the sparks to fall in. That ignited the methane gas trapped inside, causing the sidewalk to erupt.

No one was injured in the blast ― not even the boy, who could be heard afterward telling his mother that he was scared ― but three cars were damaged.   

Methane trapped in sewers may be more common than many people realize. A 2014 study in Washington, D.C. found thousands of leaks causing methane to build up in the system, including a dozen manholes where just a small spark could trigger an explosion, according to Gizmodo. 


(h/t Digg) 

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Bats Invade Spurs-Nets NBA Game, So They Called In A Bat Catcher

Here’s something that you will rarely hear at an NBA game: “There’s guano on the court.”

Those were the words of a broadcaster while a handful of bats swarmed the San Antonio Spurs-Brooklyn Nets game at AT&T Center in San Antonio Thursday.

Bat catchers were summoned. Actually they were security guards with nets, the San Antonio Express-News reported.

Many players fled. One Spurs player, Pau Gasol, playfully readied his towel in the video below.

But contact with the creatures is not a good idea. Ten years ago, Spurs guard Manu Ginobili actually swatted a bat in the same arena with his hand. He was later subjected to 16 rounds of rabies shots just in case. Ginobili, who said the bat flew away when it was released outside the arena, also expressed regret for his actions because bats are a “great part of the ecosystem.”

Former Spurs great David Robinson mentioned Ginobili’s name in a tweet. 

Thursday’s game resumed after a few minutes, Sports Illustrated reported. The Spurs won, 117-114.

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Friday, 1 February 2019

Horse Stuck In Tree Rescued By Chain Saw-Wielding Town Marshal

WINFIELD, Ind. (AP) — An Indiana town marshal wielding a chain saw rescued a horse that became wedged between two branches of a tree trunk amid subzero cold .

Winfield Town Marshal Dan Ball says the horse somehow became stuck in the multi-trunked tree Wednesday morning in the town about 15 miles (25 kilometers) south of Gary.

He told The (Northwest Indiana) Times that he feared the horse might die because it collapsed at one point and was growing weak with the temperature hovering near minus 20 degrees (minus 28 Celsius).

But when a neighbor brought a chain saw to the scene, Ball braved the frigid conditions for 45 minutes to cut away branches until the horse was able to pull free.

The horse then managed to walk back to its barn and eat breakfast.


Information from: The Times,

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Baby Orangutan's Paternity Test Has Surprise Worthy Of Maury Povich

BERLIN (AP) — A paternity test on a baby orangutan has come back with a surprising result.

Basel Zoo in northwestern Switzerland said Thursday the test showed 5-month-old Padma wasn’t fathered by the male in her enclosure.

Keepers routinely take DNA samples from newborn orangutans because the endangered great apes are part of a breeding program.

Researchers at Basel University’s forensic laboratory compared Padma’s DNA to that of Budi, a 14-year-old male living in the same enclosure as the baby’s mother, Maja.

They found it didn’t match Budi’s DNA. Instead, it matched 18-year-old orangutan Vendel, who lives in the next enclosure.

It appears that for Maja and Vendel, the dominant male at Basel Zoo, the dividing fence was no obstacle to some monkey business.


Basel Zoo:

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Pungent 'J-Queen' Durian Fruits Sell For $1,000 In Indonesia

JAKARTA (Reuters) - An Indonesian variety of the durian - a pungent, spiky fruit considered a delicacy across many parts of Asia — has been sold in a store on the island of Java for a hefty $1,000 per fruit.

The “J-Queen” durian was selected by a panel of farmers in a region of central Java because it was deemed to have a special taste and texture, said Sudarno, a farmer who grew the fruit.

Two of the rare durians, which were displayed in a perspex case in a store in Tasikmalaya in the neighboring province, were sold for 14 million rupiah ($1,002) each, said Sudarno, who uses one name like many Indonesians.

Asked why anyone would pay such a high price, he said the harvest from this particular tree had failed in past seasons, but a new fertilizer helped to produce fruit this year.

“It’s sweet..fluffy and delicious,” Sudarno said by phone, describing the texture as creamy like butter.

Durian are often grown in family orchards or small-scale farms and are hugely popular in many parts of Asia.

Sometimes described as smelling like an open sewer or turpentine when ripe, durian are banned in some airports, public transport and hotels in Southeast Asia.

Sudarno said most of the 20 durians produced by his tree were premature, but four were offered for sale. Two were sold and the others pulled from display after their quality faded.

He did not know who bought the fruit.

($1 = 13,970.0000 rupiah)

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Would-Be Bank Robber Rips Up Note After Getting Cold Feet

FALL RIVER, Mass. (AP) — Police in Massachusetts are looking for a woman they say intended to rob a bank but got cold feet and left without a penny.

Fall River police tell the Herald News that the woman walked into the Fall River Municipal Credit Union on Monday afternoon and approached a teller.

Police say the woman hesitated, told the teller “give me a minute,” and went to a counter and wrote on a piece of paper.

But she ripped up the note, dropped the pieces in the trash and walked out.

Bank employees pieced the note together and it said: “Give me the money.”

Anyone who recognizes the woman in surveillance images is asked to contact Fall River police.


Information from: The (Fall River, Mass.) Herald News,

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