Sunday 17 April 2016

5 Keys To Success No Matter Who Or Where You Are In The Universe

5. Exist. It's important that you exist. Otherwise, your ability to do things may be compromised by your inability to exist to do those things.

4. Learn to make cakes. Cakes are delicious, and you never know when you'll need a good cake. Everyone loves cakes, except people who don't exist (because they've never had them and they're jealous), in which case, who cares, what are they going to do about it?

3. Create an effective defense or escape plan for when those people who don't exist finally start existing and suddenly want to punish us for not acknowledging them prior to their existing. Perhaps start ceasing to exist yourself. Yeah, NOW WHAT, people who until just recently didn't exist?? You might exist, but now we don't, so you're, once again, not on our team. BOOM.

2. Appease the giraffes. Never forget. Appease the giraffes. You've been warned.

1. And finally, figure out a way for us to eat cakes again. Ever since we started not existing, we haven't been able to make, eat, or even see a cake. Because technology thus far only allows for cakes that exist to be made, eaten and seen by those who exist. But those folks who now exist, who until recently didn't exist -- they're laughing it up with their sweet, moist, delicious cakes.

This diagram should clear up any confusion.

If you cease to exist, you'll be just fine. Unless you love cakes, then it might be a tough road ahead. Now go get 'em!

 

Also on HuffPost:

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Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/10/08/keys-to-success-no-matter-who-you-are_n_8474750.html?utm_hp ... and provided by entertainment-movie-news.com

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